I tortured myself last night by going through a bunch of photos from the Michael Jackson memorial. I don’t know why I did it, but it’s not the first time. I did the same thing back a week ago and cried about 5 min before I left for work. But I saw some fans that I know in a photo of the memorial, and the looks on their faces just made me feel it all over again. And usually when this happens, I quickly find something else to do — but this time I just allowed myself to cry… really, really cry.
Does anyone else feel this? I like this blog because I can air the way I feel without having to worry about what others might think. Those who have not been friends with me forever or who’ve not understood my experiences may not ever get it, but those who have, get it.. or at least try to without judgment. Does anyone else get it? I know lots of fans are still in pain, but… I dunno, I guess we always feel like our own pain is deeper than anyone elses… maybe it is, it’s our own after all.
I’m still adding to my collection. Today I put “Michael Jackson Treasures” and “Before He Was King” on lay-buy since I didnt have the money out right to get it. I am thinking of getting another one for laybuy tomorrow because I’d like to have two. I’m greedy like that.
I have started to gather all my photos again for an album that I am making up. If anyone is interested in them, let me know.
If I can help anyone with any photos, let me know… I have collected so many over the years as well as the ones I’ve acquired recently. I want to collect as many ‘sets’ as possible and put them in to a big huge album. I love photos of Michael – he was so lovely to look at – I know many disagreed with me, but that’s because they never bothered to ‘know’ him like we, the fans ‘knew’ him. He was stunning in every single which way, and no one can ever tell me otherwise.
I miss him so much. I go to bed every night thinking, wishing, dreaming… and I wake up and reality is still here but Michael is not… It just doesn’t really seem fair, does it? Each time I go to see This Is It, it gets more and more depressing. I’ve decided I won’t see it again. Every time I watch it it becomes a little bit more real.
Anyway, here is also my T Shirt collection… I was gonna post this awhile ago, but I never got around to it… but here it is.
And I guess that’s it for now… I miss you Michael.
So I was sitting here today thinking about all the money that I have spent since Michael’s passing on magazines and I decided to, for the first time really go through them rather than having a quick flick in the store to determine whether or not I’d be selling my soul to the devil to buy them… and to be quite honest… I got more smiles than tears.
He was such a beautiful guy… physically as well as on the inside. I don’t really know how anyone could have hated him…. it really just goes back to how the conflicted of heart, dark-of-heart, you might say, reacts to something pure and true. Some people are naturally repelled by the presence of something so pure, really and I believe it is what happened here.
Anyway, so I’ve launched my footage/collectors blog finally. Please feel free to go through the pages and watch this space for updates. If you want anything or need anything or think that there is something that I might need, please let me know…
At the base of it all, I am still a terribly heartbroken fan who loved Michael Jackson just so much that words could never convey.
I have been a fan of Michael Jackson since around the early 90s. I have been a huge collector of anything and everything pertaining to him and his wonderful legacy.
I am using this blog to monitor my collection and to help fans enhance theirs in regards to footage.